8 Ways to Feel Sexy and Confident at Midlife

 

Let’s face it, the ability to feel sexy and confident isn’t always easy – especially as we age.  We start to see changes in our bodies that we don’t like, our energy levels dip, and we often feel like we’re invisible in the world.  In our youth-obsessed society, it’s easy to feel like we’re not enough once we hit a certain age.  But the truth is, feeling sexy and confident at midlife has nothing to do with your age—it’s all about how the confidence you have in yourself.  Here are 8 tips to help you feel your best, and feel sexy and confident at midlife.

 

Know and love your body.  This is the first and most important step.  This means learning what you like and don’t like, what makes you feel good, and what doesn’t.  It might sound like a daunting task, but it’s actually quite liberating!  Once you take the time to get to know your body, you’ll be able to move through the world with a newfound appreciation for your own physicality.

Accepting your body for what it is will do wonders for your confidence.  Don’t compare yourself to others, or even to yourself when you were 20.  Practice saying “I love my body” and “My body is beautiful, strong and unique like me” and “I feel sexy and confident”.  Write these affirmations on sticky notes and put them on your mirror so you see them every day.

Loving your body is a huge challenge for some of us as we age.  Having children creates huge changes, getting older and seeing all of the wrinkles and sagging can make you want to cry, and then the metabolism changes at midlife can cause us to add a few pounds- I get this!  But, if you’re not comfortable in your own skin, it’ll be hard to feel sexy and confident.  Identify what you do love about your body and what you don’t.  Focus on continuously appreciating what you do love and accepting what you don’t.  Work on loving your own unique body – changes, flaws and all!

 

 

Take care of yourself.  This includes both physical and mental self-care.  Eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep are all important for feeling good in your skin.  But don’t forget about your mental health!  Make time for things that make you happy and relax you.  This could be reading, spending time with friends or family, or taking up a new hobby.  Self care is so important!

And one of the best ways to improve your health as you age is by being active—it helps improve everything from brain function to balance and coordination.  Plus, it’ll help boost your confidence by giving you a sense of accomplishment.  Start slow with some gentle exercises or walks around the block, then build up from there as you start feeling stronger!  I promise it really will help!

 

Dress for yourself.  If you look good, you’ll feel good!  Find clothes that fit well and make you feel fabulous.  Ditch the clothes that aren’t comfortable or don’t make you feel your best.  Invest in a few key pieces that will make you look and feel like a million bucks!

Too often, we dress for others—for our partner, our friends, or societal expectations — instead of for ourselves.  But if you want to feel truly sexy and confident, you need to dress for yourself!  This means wearing clothes that make you feel good, regardless of what anyone else might think.  Don’t follow trends if you don’t love them.  Life is too short to be a slave to fashion trends.  Find your own style and wear what makes you happy and feel beautiful.

 

Be positive.  A positive attitude is key to feeling sexy and confident at any age.  Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid negative energy whenever possible.  When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, counter them with a positive affirmation.  For example, “I am beautiful” or “I am worthy.”  Put sticky notes on your mirror or computer desk with words of affirmation on them so you see them every day.  There I go with those affirmations again…

 

 

Fake it ’til you make it.  It may sound cliché, but it works!  I know that many won’t agree with this tip- but hear me out.  If you’re having a hard time mustering up the confidence to go out into the world, pretend that you already have it.  Put on a brave face and act like the confident woman you want to be.  Chances are, eventually you’ll start to believe it too!  I found that the easiest way to do this is look at the characteristics that you appreciate in others and that you want to have, and emulate them.  It’s not pretending to be someone that you’re not- it’s pretending to be someone you will be.

 

Embrace your age.  A bonus about getting older is that you stop caring so much about what other people think.  You finally start living for yourself instead of trying to please everyone else.  So embrace your age!  Stop hiding those wrinkles or grey hairs if you want and love yourself just the way you are.  Or get Botox and dye your hair and love the way it makes you look!  Do what YOU want to feel good about yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t just because they have different ideals.  After all, confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have—no matter their age.

 

Love your life.  One of the best ways to feel sexy and confident is by loving your life—and that starts with appreciating all the little things that make up your day.  From the smell of fresh coffee in the morning to sunsets at night, take a moment each day to appreciate all the good things in your life.  See my post here about how gratitude can make you healthy.  A positive outlook will not only make you feel better physically but also mentally and emotionally—and that confidence will shine through in everything you do!

 

Live in the moment.  Focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.  Appreciate your life exactly as it is right now – flaws and all – and let go of anything that’s holding you back from enjoying it fully.  Mindfulness can help you to live in the moment.  See my posts here and here on how mindfulness can make your life so much better.

 

 

Your ability to feel sexy and confident at midlife or any age is all about mindset.   It’s important to love your body, take care of yourself, dress the way you want, be positive, fake it ’til you make it, embrace your aging, love your life and live in the moment. By using some (or all) of these tips, you’ll be on your way to feeling fabulous at 40 , 50 , 60 and beyond.  So get out there and start living YOUR best life!  Please note that if you continue to struggle with your self-confidence, it can help to talk to a counselor or life coach.  You’re worth investing in.  You’ve got this, beautiful!

 

Take care,